Holding Space When Kids Are Sick

It is day 8 of my daughter being sick. But this particular night was hard- after a few days dealing with a cough, congestion, and some fever, my little girl was covered in hives. They started to show up very scattered in the morning the day before and by now she was fully covered from head to toe. Some parts of her body were also starting to get inflamed.

When the hives appeared, though there’s always a sense of worry that we of course have from seeing our children with these types of things, I was calm as I remembered when she once had them around two years before.

They looked similar and didn’t last long. I proceeded to contact our family homeopath and she gently guided me with the protocol of the remedies. We chose homeopathy as an alternative to traditional medicine because we strongly believed as a family that our bodies if balanced and nurtured well are capable of fighting the many challenges one can get. We believe in organically strengthening our immune system and trusting our bodies to do the work. At times, however, this method takes lots of patience. Takes presence. Takes bravery.

This particular night required nothing from me but stillness and full presence. By now the hives were all over her body and extremely itchy and sensible to touch. She was utterly irritable as she could not sleep and was overly tired. As she desperately scratched her body, her tears falling down her face, looking at me with those big beautiful eyes and anxiously asking me to please help her, I held her close to my heart, rocking her from side to side as if she was a baby (she was almost 5) and I just witnessed and became fully available.

This one night showed me how important my own grounding and self-care was; as it was because of my own energetic equilibrium that I was able and available to hold the space for her over and over again. Hold space to cry, to vent, to kick, and to scream. Hold space to do this repeatedly throughout the entire night, and each time I would hold her, rock her, walk with her, sit and lay down in mostly silence, comforting and nurturing her with just presence and kindness.

I wanted to rescue her badly, and going to a place of fear was easily possible and accessible, but my own inner calm allowed me to stay in the present with her. Moment by moment. It is a task that sounds simple when we express it and yet all of us know how easy it is to be overtaken by anxiety and fear, which often are masked in frustration or anger. But it is possible, it is possible to just be, to witness with generosity and radiance. To offer absolute presence... as it was presence the most soothing thing she received that night.

Things I did for self-care during that time:

- I released expectations and control and didn’t clean the house as much so I could reserve more energy

- I cooked simpler meals or ordered out

- I reached out for help. Whether from my partner, family, or friends who would assist with my older son and take him to his activities, help with food or just hold space for me.

- I rested any moment I could

- I made sure I eat

- I used essential oils and took time to breath

- I cried when I felt overwhelmed and talked to my own self to soothe me.

- I did fewer activities and had family movie days with cuddles.